16 Things to think about when working with kids

Would you talk to kids the way you do, if they were 6'5" and 250 pounds?

We use these topics as a closing mixer with all of the staff development workshops we run. It's always a hit! Hope you enjoy!

Kids are learning just like we are – They learn best from the people who care about them!

We don’t EVER need to solve arguments for kids who are arguing respectfully.  Sometimes we help best by not helping. Keep an eye out and make sure they continue to argue respectfully. If the conversation ratchets up, then look step in. Otherwise let them go for their own good and maybe even yours as well!

Try to let them own their solutions. So often us adults jump in to try to help a kid. Do we have good intentions? Most likely, but a lot of times we help in the name of keeping things moving…keeping things peaceful…or keeping things easy. When we step in, we interrupt the learning process for kids. We hand them a solution instead of allowing them to work through it and to figure out a solution on their own. Allowing them to figure things out on their own can be messy and time consuming. (Our world seems so fast paced and sometimes time just won’t allow for them to come up with their own solutions.) Whenever possible, bite your tongue, curl your toes, watch from the stands, see what happens and you may be surprised how effortlessly they come up with solutions that make everyone feel empowered. (you too)

Would you talk to kids the way you do if;

o   ...their parents were standing there?

o   …your supervisor was standing there?

o   …if they were 6’5” and 250 pounds?

If YES, then keep doing what you're doing!
If NO, then changes need to be made! Kids need to be respected!

Find a way to care about that kid who is driving you crazy. Talk with them. Figure out their story. What did they do this weekend? Talk to their parents, their current and former teachers, their guidance counselor. What are their hobbies…What do they dislike…Favorite foods? I feel like getting to know a little more about their back story often helps to take a more empathetic approach when dealing with that child.

Be mindful of what you talk about with other adults when kids are around. Kids are smart! They are watching and they are listening!

Look in the mirror and ask yourself, am I being what I’m asking my students to be? 

  

You want to try to win over all kids but winning over certain kids will make your job easier. They are the influencers, the leaders. They are the kids that the other kids would follow to the end of the Earth and back! If you can figure out a way to get them to buy into what you are doing and the fact that you care, you may get others to do the same.

Make time to listen to a kid who needs to talk. I believe that kids have a built-in sensor that tells them the EXACT inopportune time to want to talk to you during a lesson. You have the kids who talk from the minute they get up until the minute they go to bed (Ha! I live with one of them). There are also the slow talkers…ooooooncccce I was walking down the streeeeeet. Here is what I do in these moments and hopefully this helps. If I am in the middle of something, I hit the pause button. I look them straight on the eyes and tell them I would LOVE to hear what you have to say as soon as I am finished with…Once you get everyone going, YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER TO GET BACK TO THAT KID AND LISTEN TO THEM…You might be the only one who does that day!

These kids are going to be the people who shape our future. “I see no hope for the future of our people if we are dependent on the frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond words. When I was a boy, we were taught to be discrete and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly wise and impatient of restraint.” If you’re thinking this quote “hits the nail on the head” about today’s youth, consider this; It was credited to Hesiod, a Greek poet over 3000 years ago. I talk a little more about this in this video below. 

Kids won‘t remember what you taught them, they will remember how you made them feel.

Try not to “draw a line in the sand” with the kids especially in front of their peers. I have touched on this in other blogs LINK The best way that I have EVER found to win an argument with a child is to not argue with them. Don’t engage! Catch them when things have de-escalated. Tell them “I can tell you want to argue but I am not going to do that today”. If all else fails and they still want to argue, tell them “I handle all my arguments at 3:30 so if you would like to come back then and argue then be my guest”. I got that idea from a book I read years ago, “Teaching with Love and Logic” by Jim Fay and David Funk. This book gave me a whole new approach to dealing with my students.

P.S Not once has any student taken me up on the offer to come argue with me after school. (I will keep you posted on this!)

Be fair with kids – Remember they are people too!

Try to remove the emotion out of dealing with kids. It’s usually not personal, even though it may feel like it. They are just being kids and challenging the boundaries. Just like we did when we were kids. (Some of us worse than others!)

Give kids choices whenever possible. It empowers them and lets them know that you care what they think. HOWEVER, make sure that you like all the choices you give because I believe that kids also have a built-in sensor in their brain for moments like this. If they detect the slightest apprehension you have about a particular choice you may be giving out, there is a 101% chance that they will choose that one that you don’t like! 😉

Feeling brave? Let them initiate the choices and take ownership as to how they want to explore different subjects or topics!

The BEST way to get RESPECT will always be to give it! “These kids have no respect for authority”...“They have no fear”...“They don’t listen”! I have heard these many times and have even said these myself. Over the years I have worked with a handful of adults who lacked a genuine respect for kids. They expected respect but failed to give it. They usually seem to be the same people most baffled when kids are disrespectful to them. I love the quote, “Respect is something you earn, not something you demand”! Try to think about how you address your students. Do you talk with them or at them? Do you speak to them or down to them? If you want them to listen to you, have you ever tried listening to them? Do you know their wants and concerns or do they just know yours?

Hope you enjoyed my latest blog. If you have anything to add or any comments please SHARE them. Shout out to my favorite artist and brother Eric Housel for his awesome illustration. As always, MAKE TODAY GREAT AND KEEP MOVING!